Bellows

 

For National Poetry Month we’re reposting this amazing poem by Anita Scott. #poetrylife

 

Be the bellows of my soul.

Be the bellows in my soul.

Be the push and the blow that reconciles gaining with letting go,

releasing while receiving.

 

Be the reason that hope lives in tears.

Be the One who steers

the rudder of my soul

when the waves crash up against the sea

when I cry out like another one of Your disciples, “Jesus, are You still with me?”

and shake my head in anguish

because what I thought I knew has begun to panic

because the rug I thought was magic

was really only compounding static

moving, but lacking in purpose

so so much of what I thought I knew was just white noise rehearsing

to solicit my daze and and my attention

and blind my gaze and my vision

so I could look, but I couldn’t see

not with so many lies staring back at me.

The road was bleak, but I couldn’t even tell.

My eyes were weak

like under a spell

 

and then You bellowed. . .

 

and the attachment to lies not only mellowed

but ceased really fast

and I quickly turned my gaze to the One who will last.

 

and then You bellowed. . .

 

and my walls fell down and I prayed prayers I had been afraid to utter

but this time when I prayed I bellowed them loudly even with a stutter

but You let me know that that didn’t matter because I had finally opened up the shutter

of my heart that had been so reclusive

 

and then You bellowed. . .

 

and all I wanted to give You was access that was inclusive

I no longer wanted to pretend You hadn’t seen my mess.

Yeah, but not just seen it, but You were it.

That cross that You carried was when you bore it.

Why was I pretending I needed to hide and store it?

I take a selah and a lean back.

I rest my chin in my hands to a future flashback.

 

That’s how You’ve won me.

I was Yours before I was here.

You saw me even before I could see clear.

Talk about a dead man walking, I was dead while acting alive

and that’s when You chose to die for me—check out Romans 5.

You didn’t give up Your life when I surrendered mine;

You sacrificed Yours even when I acted like things were just fine.

 

You saw mess and fell in love.

I felt love and decided to run.

You saw me and said, “Ah, My Bride!”

I saw You and chose to hide.

You saw love.

I screamed in fear.

You saw marriage.

I drew tears

because Your closeness was just so much.

I didn’t think I was worthy of such

unconditional love and affection

not with my blatant attempt to turn our marriage into separation

but You thought of that too,

deciding that neither death nor life

could separate me from You.

Check out Romans 8:32.

 

and then You bellowed. . .

and stole my heart from senseless attractions.

 

You bellowed. . .

and now I’m wondering what took me so long to give You all of my satisfaction.

 

You bellowed . . .

and blew life into me.

 

You bellowed. . .

and it’s only by Your Breath that I can give you my heart so sincerely.

Anita Scott

Anita Scott

Poet & Perfromer at Anita Scott
Poetry has always been a second language for Anita. She has performed at local slam poetry and spoken word events. Now, the door is opening for her poetry in small groups and on stages around the United States where she has already shared the same mic with Micah Bournes and Amena Brown Owen. Her poems "Mary Go Round" and "Tears for the Motherland" clearly express Anita’s heart for justice regarding gender and racial reconciliation. People who have seen her perform all attest to the same thing: she is unforgettable.

Anita is also part of Ambassadors Alliance International, a passionate team of people who go into impoverished areas to assess their needs and provide help in the form of food, medical supplies, clothing, education, and job-training that will lead to self-sustainable change.
Anita Scott

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