How Looking Back Can Help Us to Move Forward

Our histories play an important role in our marriages, particularly when storms are raging. The twenty-one years that my husband and I had together served as ballast to keep us from capsizing during a string of tragic losses. We remembered how God helped us to forgive each other during our broken engagement. We remembered how […]

Harbinger of Memories

It’s the leaves. They’re the harbinger of autumn and they’re already dotting my green lawn red. My girl, she picked one up last week and greeted it. “You’re not welcome here!” she stated matter of factly as she deposited it into the dumpster. It’s not that we don’t love fall, we do. Both of us. […]

How We Remember Matters

When I was in my early 20s I had a few opportunities to go up in a small plane. Jets are fine, but have you been up in a small plane? I mean a real small plane that’s got you just feet above the cracked tarmac: A plane with windows you crank to open so […]

The Spiritual Practice of Remembering

Maybe it’s the desperate hope that somehow the tide of the pandemic will finally turn and we’ll see a return to some semblance of the life we knew before. But I’ve been feeling the need to mark the days lately, to remember.  As summer unofficially ended in the U.S. with Labor Day, I noticed something […]

Encoding. Storage. Retrieval. (For the women who came before and after me, who make me who I am.)

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your […]

All That Remains

The two of them stand in the shadows—shoulder to shoulder, side by side. I gaze at their backsides, for their faces are fixed on the black and white images moving on the screen before them. I sense sadness in their shadows. I am very young, for as I reflect on the date it is November […]

Twisted

My high school mascot was a pretzel. I know. It gets worse. This—and middle-child status—explains a lot of my issues. On the upside, you won’t find my alma maters in the fray of mascot-related rhetoric lately making news. Ex: “You can eat us but you can’t beat us!” and rival schools trampling pretzels by the […]

Loosening My Grip

The klaxon sound of the motion detector alarm rouses me unceremoniously. My adrenaline is immediately pumping. I narrowly miss stepping on the dog in her little bed as I rush to get to mom’s bedroom. I need to reach her before she takes too many steps on her own. One night I didn’t make it […]

The Freedom of Dependence

Two years ago I stepped back into “normal” life after brain surgery.  In May of 2018, I was in a hospital room needing help to sit up in the bed. In August of 2018, just two and 1/2 months later, I was walking back into work as if nothing had happened . . . but […]

Untangled

My mom has a particular story about me that she likes to tell: As she was doing dishes in our kitchen, she looked out the window and saw me in the backyard trying to catch frogs and kiss them. While it’s rather cute to think of a porcelain-white toddler with black curls and thick baby […]

When You Know, Deep in Your Know: Discernment

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use, have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil; Hebrews 5:14 KJV Discernment is my gift. I know things. I was described as mannish or grown as a child; things that should not have been my […]

A New Way of Seeing (Saved For Each Other)

Your heavenly will be done by all created beings! Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth. –The New Zealand Anglican Lord’s Prayer I wanted to savor each sip of chai in the tiny aluminum cup. I didn’t mind its heat on my hands even though my scarf already stuck […]