The Growing Uncomfortable Edge

I am untethered, unmoored, unrecognizable to myself. My husband passed away in a hiking accident, and life is altered on every level.  I feel disoriented, trying to make sense of my disassembled life—like lying on the couch and watching TV sideways.  Everything has changed, and my brain has yet to catch up to it all. […]

Grief – Inseparable

She knocks on the front door, but she really didn’t have to. I saw her crouching there a few days ago. I can feel her presence before she announces herself. I didn’t invite her; she simply comes. She isn’t a respecter of persons; she visits you, too. She visits us all.   Sometimes, I feel […]

The Mathematics of Life

“I just wanted you to know I hear you. I see you.” I received this voice message from a friend in response to a long, rambling complaint I sent the day before.  “In walking with people through grief and loss, I’ve recognized how powerless I am to rescue anyone, said Aubrey Sampson. “And I’ve been […]

The Good Catastrophe

  And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock; and he rolled a large stone against the entrance of the tomb and went away. And Mary Magdalene was there, and the other Mary, sitting […]

A Hope that’s Hidden in Grief

My father and I had stopped at his office so he could pick up a few things before his flight for his business trip. We were in no rush—his flight didn’t leave until after 1pm. We planned to get some breakfast in town before leaving for the airport. He stood looking at some papers while […]

The Tree Near the Side of the Road

I am learning about perspective in my oil painting class. Usually I rush into a painting, excited to get it started. But in this particular photograph of a tree near the side of road, my teacher encouraged me to keep proper perspective in the underpainting. To project accurate perspective, the elements must line up correctly […]

The Words You Think

I looked toward the ocean, gray and foamy on this cooler-than-average Florida day. Despite my nervousness, I followed the lead of the others in the group and started wading out into the water. The coolness of the winter ocean shocked me as I entered it.  On my own, I probably would have given up or […]

December Star

December Star     Solstice darkness persists longer than sun’s extended rays, which reach my fingertips eight minutes later than when they first sizzled out of their thermogenic home.   Electromagnetic radiation warms cool blue earth, invisibly envelops my skin. In the chill of Cimmerian nights, a tender light pierces the pining, crepuscular hour.   […]

The Solitude of Longing

The word long seems to pervade December. A long year is coming to a close. The longest night of the year makes our hearts anxious for the dawn. We celebrate the birth of our long-expected Jesus. We long for the crisp beginning of a new year. When Advent arrives, we long for the second coming […]

The Feast of Friendship

I know it’s coming, but I’m not prepared. Fill in the blank with “it.” It could be dinnertime each day. I’m not prepared to answer the daily question, “What’s for dinner?”   “It” could be the next difficult season up ahead, or it could the wildest season of joy. Why do I assume it will […]

The Recipe of Me

We are noisy, we cousins gathered around the long wooden table smack in the middle of the restaurant. Melissa leans over our shoulders to place multiple plates of fresh lumpia down in the center. We clamor over each other, elbows flying, to grab the freshly fried spring rolls between our fingers and dip them into […]

A Procedure for a Clean Heart

  I did not have any idea what to expect.   Anticipation of the unknown filled me with fear.   My body trembled uncontrollably. Unsure if the shivers were from the cold, metal table or from the overwhelming dread, a tear formed on my left cheek. The kind nurse wiped it away.   “It’s alright […]

Of Thorns and Skin

Listen to the audio recording of Prasanta’s words here, or read her piece below: Of Thorns and Skin Your Task Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.*   A long wind brushes its fingers through the trees […]

The Space Between Darkness and Dawn

The space in between darkness and dawn….. the space where the morning star hovers and the sun’s rays have not yet touched the sky where the wash of a rising canopy warms the earth   this space is where God restores our stories.   Yes, there was pain in the darkness in places concealed: the […]

Finding Peace in Transition

There was a time in my life when I was more comfortable in the midst of transition. I remember once in my twenties sitting on my suitcases in the airport in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea. I was wearing a long, billowy skirt, a t-shirt, and my favorite Jesus sandals looking like the quintessential Christian […]

Practicing Imperfect Hope

We live these daily lives in the constant tension of already and not yet: Already a student, not yet graduation; already graduated, not yet employed, already engaged, not yet married; already pregnant, not yet a parent; already diagnosed, not yet healed; seeds already planted, but the fruit not ready to be plucked; Already the veil […]

Leaf Maker

Leaf  Abscission (noun)* the act of cutting off; sudden termination. Botany. the normal separation of flowers, fruit, and leaves from plants. Leaves change color in a glorious display for only a short time, only to fall to the ground, dead. Trees lose their magnificent crown, drop their jewels, shed their shimmering coats, just before the onslaught […]