The Cost of Contentment

There is too much satisfaction. Too much contentment. Too much comfort. Too much apathy.

Too much apathy.

I think one can breed the other. If you are content with your life, you can afford to be apathetic about others. Not everyone is, but some are. Enough are to make a difference.

That was me once. Long ago, when I would brag about having absolutely no empathy. It was in the days when I sat in the front row of church, eyes closed and arms held high, praising God with everything I had.

Those were the years when I would drop all of my spending money on Audio Adrenaline concert tickets and Jars of Clay t-shirts. When our youth group would take trips to Cedar Point, hold car washes, and we so earnestly debated about the kids at school who listened to Marilyn Manson. Those were the days when we honestly believed they were casting spells and sacrificing animals in the forest. We never actually knew them, because we didn’t need to. We had our opinions, which were obviously right. We didn’t think about how they probably knew what we were whispering about them. We didn’t think about how they knew we thought they were dangerous and damaged. We didn’t see them as fully human at all. We were just seeing them through the eyes of Jesus. Or so we thought. (Because obviously Jesus isn’t a dehumanizing jackass.)

Our certainty about Jesus enabled us to be so certain about everything else. About everyone else. I knew God’s will for the world, for me, for America. People who disagreed – well, they were just wrong and on top of that, they were heathens, so why did their voice matter?

I know how this sounds. And I also know how normal it seemed from the inside. I don’t know how to bridge that gap right here, because it never should have sounded normal. It shouldn’t resonate so strongly today with 81% of white evangelicals who are convinced they accomplished God’s will in the voting booth.

I was so proud. So sure. So happy and satisfied in my rightness. There is nothing quite like self-satisfaction. The problem with this smugness, of course, is that happiness for some is misery for others. There is a cost to contentment, and so often the cost isn’t borne by the content.

The cost is borne by the people who need empathy. Whose lives depend on it. The thing that the satisfied people, particularly the white Christians forget is that these discussions aren’t theoretical abstracts. People’s lives are literally affected by our apathy and our empathy.

When we sit on our unempathetic little thrones, building the kind of world we think is the only right way, we are telling everyone else that their lives, opinions, experiences are unimportant. We tell them that they are not worth our time. And when this happens on a scale of millions, well then, we’re talking real damage. Real damage in Jesus’ name.

It is not just that 81% of white evangelicals gave Trump the presidency. It is also that they refused to listen to anyone else’s fears, and even now, after the damage has been done, they are walking around with their collective fingers in their ears, stubbornly refusing to hear the cries of the wounded.

What good is coming out of this 81%’s refusal to be empathetic? What harm will come from listening to the lives of people who are different? Jesus gave up any comfort he could have had for the sake of others. He prioritized listening and empathizing. Why is that so hard for so many to do?

People who are not white are walking around with a world of hurt and I have been sitting here watching this 81% brandish their unempathy with abandon. We all have been. There are so many people unwilling to examine their certainty. So many people who don’t see how their satisfaction is directly tied to others’ oppression.

The millions who make up this 81% are clinging to their individual goals, beliefs, and platforms. They have closed their hearts to a world that is different from them, and everyone else is left screaming at their indifference.

When all you think you need in life is a certainty in the kind of God you want to have, you don’t need to read history. You don’t need to be a witness to the pain around you. You don’t need to watch hate flourishing in real time, because you are content with yourself.

This kind of contentment is dangerous. It is privileged and painful and appalling.

It’s appalling.

This satisfied and defensive 81% is appalling in its’ refusal to empathize with the lived pain of so many millions of people. And when they do it in Jesus’ name…….

People are watching! They see this God that you’ve erected, this God that prioritizes white feelings, white thoughts, white satisfactions. And it creates this vicious, dysfunctional circle.

“Why aren’t people coming to church anymore, Bob?”

“Why I don’t know Tom. Let’s shame people in a sermon and tell them how much harder they need to evangelize to their friends. We just need to be louder in our convictions. That’ll get them.”

“Good idea! What could go wrong with that?”

This refusal to reflect and listen is killing a segment of the church. Honestly, I am not that upset by  it. My personal opinion is that evangelicalism needs to be burned to the ground. There are many, many other denominations filled with people of all colors working for justice and equality.

The church will be fine without evangelicals.

But Evangelicalism has placed itself as the face of The Church, and therefore when people see that, they don’t think about the Methodists or Episcopalians who are not part of that. They just see ‘Jesus’ and walk away.

The arrogance and stubbornness of this particular white subset of Christianity is doing lasting damage, to both people and the church.

There is nothing about that that should bring satisfaction.




Caris Adel
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5 thoughts on “The Cost of Contentment

  1. I’ve noticed when many of us are challenged and/or convicted, we often remain silent and do not comment. Thank you for your challenge. I believe He’s got the whole world (not just the USA) in His hands and it’s time for those of us who profess to be Christian to recognize that Christ’s unconditional love is for everyone. As we are His hands and feet here on this most magnificent planet, it is time for us to bear witness to the pain of others and lavishly love those who are not part of “our tribe.”

  2. Oh sister, I feel it too. Praying today that this anger at evangelicals turns to fire, which turns to energy, which turns to action and change. Worshipping JESUS–not the church, our traditions, or even the Bible is the thing. We need to keep a steady eye on Him. This is what I’m telling myself. Thanks for your honesty and courage.

  3. Amen, amen. I normally don’t argue with strangers on the internet. But earlier today I saw Franklin Graham’s post celebrating how God showed up for the election to help Trump ascend to the presidency and I just had to call it out. Because it breaks my heart that people would see the violence that is erupting against different races and nationalities and then see hundreds of thousands of Christians ‘liking’ a post celebrating a presidency which is one of the worst things that has happened to them. I have the choice to keep silent. I can’t let my comfort sway me into maintaining that silence at the cost of others. (Of course I got accused of playing the race card, to which I replied “If it’s playing the race card to call out attacks on people of other races then fine, I”ll play the race card over and over again. Because Jesus would.”)

  4. You have been one of my favorite voices through the mess of the past week. Thanks for your honesty and bravery.

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