I am learning about perspective in my oil painting class. Usually I rush into a painting, excited to get it started. But in this particular photograph of a tree near the side of road, my teacher encouraged me to keep proper perspective in the underpainting. To project accurate perspective, the elements must line up correctly […]
trust
A Beautiful Terror
Rain pounds down, relentless. I pack up my suitcase for another long weekend away, away from my current state of adjustment to a new life in a new state. Supposedly, storms bring newness, refreshment, and renewal. Everything still seems to be the same. I had thought by now I’d have more solid answers to this […]
Stifling Order or Cataclysmic Chaos: A Lesson on Institutions from Loki
“Stifling order or cataclysmic chaos” are the two options offered in the finale to Disney Plus’s new series Loki. This stifling order comes in the form of institutional reign with little regard to the individual needs of people. The alternative, however, with nothing in between, is the horror of anarchy. At least this is what […]
Sleepless in Spring
I took a walk today and I looked up at the bright blue spring sky popping against bright green leaves on old oak trees and I cried because today my fourth child is eighteen months old, and WE ARE STILL HERE. Pandemic, homeschooling, batshit crazy world but here we are. Almost two and a half […]
Emmanuel and Showing Up
The first few days of Advent, I felt irrationally angry. I tried to call it irritable or easily annoyed, but when I sat down to dig through it all what I found was anger. Advent is an invitation to the waiting, and frankly, I would like to decline. No thanks. Can’t come. Wish I could […]
Be Careful What You Pray For
Authenticity; be careful what you pray for. The Cambridge English dictionary defines authentic as “the quality of being real or true.” I’d heard a call to write everyday stories highlighting the intersection of Life and Faith. I thought I understood what such a call meant. Be careful what you pray for… There is that insistent, […]
Peace in the Time of My Storms
“I trusted God as much as I believed possible, trusting more in my misplaced confidence in my own capacity to have cost me dearly.
What did I learn? God is sovereign; I am an idiot.”
Free to Be Me
It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced it: vulnerability hangover. It’s a term Brene Brown coined for that feeling of, “Did I just share too much? Is she going to think I’m way too much of a mess?” It’s enough to make you throw up a little. But I felt that vulnerability hangover the other […]
Of Regrets? (almost) FEARLESS
Of regrets, I have exactly none. To regret something is to wish it never happened. Relying upon the words of Jeremiah 1:5 (KJV), Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. Every move we’ve made, every step and […]
Defining Warrior Faith from Bey to Z
Before I was a warrior, I differentiated between the secular person I was and the spiritual person I became weekly on Sundays. Sabbaths were for study, praise and worship, and a time to set those things aside in favor of regular life. That was before; I’m a big girl now. That was my first evolution, […]
We Light Our Candles in the Darkness
I am fearless and fiercely protective of those I love: Just try coming for one of mine. As I wrote in my personal manifesto #GentlyAngry, “I aspire to live in peace, but I ain’t no punk.” “I encourage you never to mistake my quiet or my cool for anything, please. Draw conclusions at your peril. […]
Centered. Unapologetic.
I am Centered. I am Unapologetic. In due season, I praise God for everything I never got. I am not, by nature, given first to gratitude, though I am deeply, profoundly grateful. I am by nature “…of a few days and full of trouble.” First of all, I conformed, or so I tried. I sat […]
From Pauper to Beloved Child
I see them every day on the streets—the hungry. They stretch out trembling hands and plead for something to sustain them. A handout is not enough though. It may fill them for the day but they are back at the same bus stop the next morning, empty-handed and asking for more. I’ve been that person […]
Why Sex is Worth the Work
In the course of my twenty-five year marriage, we’ve made good sex a priority. That doesn’t mean it’s been effortless. Anything in marriage that’s good takes effort and intentionality. In all regards, we’re still a work in progress. We had more than a few vulnerable conversations about our hopes for the marriage bed before saying […]
I Learned to Really Apologize
I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store with my cell phone in my hand. People were bustling all around, running their errands and loading their cars with brimming bags, but I couldn’t get that last conversation out of my mind. No matter how I tried to push the feelings aside, they kept […]
The Cost of Peace
I stare into the gleaming white lights of the Christmas tree until they blur together and dance across my vision, that tree adorned with symbols of peace and hope: The star that lights the way to the one who delivers. The angel that sings of peace on earth. The manger that holds the hope of […]
The Hard Fought Battle for Contentment
He stared at my back in the queen size bed we share. The inches between us loomed like a brick wall lined with barbed wire. I sobbed. He sighed. He must have felt as helpless as I did. I suffered under a border blockade which prohibited the entry of petrol, propane, and essential goods in […]
Crossing the Skies and Seas
What would you give up to finally have running water in your house? Would you give up your spring break? Would you fly into a winter storm and ride an open boat on the ocean in 8 degrees holding your pregnant belly and hugging your three small children, cinching them close to keep from freezing? […]