I know it’s coming, but I’m not prepared. Fill in the blank with “it.” It could be dinnertime each day. I’m not prepared to answer the daily question, “What’s for dinner?” “It” could be the next difficult season up ahead, or it could the wildest season of joy. Why do I assume it will […]
joy
The Gentleness of Dusk and Dawn
The Longing Arms Emptiness filled now and spilling when arms hold and hush the long anticipated one- sweet love requited. Did I know how empty they were- my arms, heart- before you? You laughed at the emptiness and swallowed it whole. …of the wind she is, a soft kiss mystery come alive […]
#Wait(ing) in Expectation-Broken I Came to the Cross
“I accept that for now, my life is to be lived in the crucible, a hard but beautiful place where He leads me away from the world in order to draw me near to Him.”
Another Thorn, Another Rose (Mental Illness as a Blessing)
I fight against harm perpetrated both by the myth of the Strong Black Woman and the stigma my culture attaches to mental illness every day. Since 1619, America nurtures me to mute my emotions, my pain, and my fear.
Couplehood & COVID-19 Perfect Together?
It’s been 3 weeks. Maybe it’s been 4. Living in the shadow of NYC where My Beloved and I have plied our trades for the majority of our careers, we are currently sheltered-in-place. The good news is we are both safe. The good news is we are fully engaged each day, so as not to […]
Waiting and Giving
My eldest daughter caught on to the concept of “Christmas as gift-giving” long before she caught on to the concept of “Christmas as a single day.” As a preschooler, she’d spend the weeks leading up to Christmas wrapping anything and everything she could find around the house in towels, pillowcases, tissues, etc., before giving them, […]
The Key to Our Joy
My best friend growing up was Canadian-American, with a feisty, strong Scottish mother who peppered my childhood with various helpful witticisms, bromides, and proverbs. One such—“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” And another—“Just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s no fire in the furnace.” I’ll leave the meaning of that one […]
Solidifying Joy
I lay awake last night, somehow exhausted and frustrated after a day of fellowship, rest, and play. I’ve been learning to intentionally take sabbath once a week, and it’s rough, inconsistent, and amazing all at the same time. But yesterday, while the day was filled with activities that normally refresh my spirit, the gift of […]
Peace in the Time of My Storms
“I trusted God as much as I believed possible, trusting more in my misplaced confidence in my own capacity to have cost me dearly.
What did I learn? God is sovereign; I am an idiot.”
Coloring In Christmas With My Favorite Things
Raindrops on rooftops and polka dot mittens Bright lights that flicker and Big Momma’s kitchen Brown chorus angels whose robes look like wings These are a few of my favorite things. Buttermilk cornbread and crisp chicken drumsticks Hotels with stairwells and greens that are handpicked Wildflowers that spread in dry deserts I’ve seen These […]
The Pain and the Joy of Rebirth
Birth is messy and beautiful, extraordinary and common; it’s loss and separation and connection and hope all at once. Rebirth, I’m learning, is much the same. I have always had a plan for my life: college in four years with a major in English, graduate school and more degrees in English, then a tenure track […]
Healing from Depression
When the moon rolls out of the sky And you are strangled with darkness. When the trees have lost their leaves And stand in surrender to winter. When every word is a suicide note And your face is dry from crying. This is when hope arrives Like a hurricane of joy […]
When We Want It All
I want it all. I want to do it all, I want to have it all, I want to be it all. The problem, of course, exists in the fact that not only is this way of thinking absolutely impossible, but it’s also wholly unrealistic and unhealthy. So, I’m learning, as a late thirty-something year […]
How Our Weeds Become Offerings of Love
His chocolate-brown eyes glitter with such an innocent joy that I can’t help but scoop him up in my arms. At four, my son still has a touch of baby in him that allows him to come running to me when hurt and lets me lie next to him until he falls asleep. But he’s […]
And Yet.
I’m not good at waiting. I never have been. Sadly, I can take after Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, “Daddy, I want a golden goose, and I want it NOW!” Because the waiting is right where hope can feel a bit foolish. I sat in the bathtub one morning as child […]
Coloring In Christmas With My Favorite Things
Raindrops on rooftops and polka dot mittens Bright lights that flicker and Big Momma’s kitchen Brown chorus angels whose robes look like wings These are a few of my favorite things. Buttermilk cornbread and crisp chicken drumsticks Hotels with stairwells and greens that are handpicked Wildflowers that spread in dry deserts I’ve seen These […]