Our guest at The Mudroom today is Tammy Perlmutter, Founder and Curator of this space, and—among so many other things–our resident expert on longing. Tammy’s journey is a mixture of heartbreak and hope—including childhood abuse—so we want to issue a trigger warning here. But, as Tammy expresses here, there is also God’s beautiful redemption arc—and for her, […]
I wrap myself Adding the layer someone else gave to me Tossed it on me to hide; hide what they didn’t like Did I let them pick up my loose limbs and shove me into something new? Something to be worn like it was meant for me Fitting to my body One new layer over […]
December Star Solstice darkness persists longer than sun’s extended rays, which reach my fingertips eight minutes later than when they first sizzled out of their thermogenic home. Electromagnetic radiation warms cool blue earth, invisibly envelops my skin. In the chill of Cimmerian nights, a tender light pierces the pining, crepuscular hour. […]
Light in the Darkness Here we are—mid-December: a season of celebration that in at least one uber-educated, moderately liberal, American college town (mine), people seem confused by the juxtaposition of culture and tradition; tradition and church. Mid-December and there is more darkness than light, so we spend more time in fluorescent spaces sprinkled with glittering […]
No matter what anyone says, no matter what I even believe about myself—Jesus’s furious longing for me will not change. I haven’t quite found it yet—that custom-made place he created for me in the Body of Christ. Maybe you haven’t either. Maybe you still feel like a kid playing dress up or like you’re still trying to squeeze into last winter’s jeans.
Sarah Guerrero’s Journey Through Feasting The religion that I had grown up with was a religion of rules and do’s and don’ts. These are the steps you take to be a good person; this is what you do to show that you love Jesus; this is what you don’t do to show that you don’t […]
The word long seems to pervade December. A long year is coming to a close. The longest night of the year makes our hearts anxious for the dawn. We celebrate the birth of our long-expected Jesus. We long for the crisp beginning of a new year. When Advent arrives, we long for the second coming […]
Today, the simple gray sock I hold in my hand becomes my new best friend. It must be magic; because here I am, just minding my own business, moving through this mundane laundry chore, when I come across this sock and feel it unlock a door deep within me. I am suddenly slingshotted back in […]
Last summer, my friend Heather and I were on a bike ride and met up with her friend, Todd. It was a beautiful day and we decided to sit and have a beer together on the outdoor patio of a restaurant. I had recently separated from my husband and during our conversation, Todd asked what […]
I say a prayer over both kids instead of praying for them individually as I do when I take my time. I rush through my usual night script: “IloveyouDaddylovesyouButwholovesyouthemost?” and they yell back, “God!” My “good night” barely slips through the door I’m already closing behind me, and my whole body sighs. I’m done. I’m […]
At our beach wedding we were given 2 leis. The use of leis in wedding ceremonies is a culturally significant tradition common in Hawaii. The lei symbolizes the mutual exchange of love & respect. At it’s advent, the lei was used as a peace agreement between Chiefs and that too is an unspoken aspect while […]
They say it is winter now but this doesn’t feel like anything I’ve ever known of winter. While others tug their scarves tightly around them the sweat still pools where my purse hits my shoulder. Maybe I’ll get accustomed to the tropical air before the real heat comes early next year. Getting used to the […]
At night these mostly bare walls with fresh paint echo more than they used to, bouncing each memory of the past six years back through my unquiet mind. The crickets and tree frogs sing a melody that is as commonplace to me here as the call to prayer and honking cars was when we lived […]
Adjacent to the parking lot of our condominium building, sat a clump of pine trees with fine, green needles and dripping sap. The landscapers planted the trees in such a way that, once grown, they formed a canopy above a small, oval opening. If one looked hard enough, and squinted against the sunlight, one might […]
Advent is a season of waiting: for calendar chocolates, promised presents, Santa’s steps. Advent is a season of longing: for life, and light, and hope beyond this world. In Advent, we think we are the ones who are waiting. But I think of the annunciation, in Leonardo Da Vinci’s Italian colours: […]
November blindsided me with its arrival this year. I know everyone says the years go by faster the older you get, but this year has rushed by with startling speed. By the beginning of November I usually have the kids gather up some of the many branches that have fallen from the sturdy trees in […]
God gave me a mother, and the church provided several more. They were matriarchs varying in age and economics. Strong resilient pillars that held the church building upright, sitting in its pews each Sunday and rearing the next generation of parishioners. On days like today, when Drew and I failed once again to make it […]