The South African word ubuntu loosely translates, “I am because we are,” and highlights how our lives are deeply intertwined and impacted by one another. Without ubuntu, individualism, possessiveness, and self-centeredness are the order of the day. We need support from others, especially as we grapple with issues around race, equity, belonging, reconciliation, and revolution. […]
Rest Redefined
Spread across my table and my desktop are remnants of the New Year’s resolutions I don’t actually make: to-do lists, a shiny new calendar; there are weekly menus and shopping lists; my alarms are set and the workout clothes and running shoes are by the door. Run an errand. Check a box. Make a call. […]
Episode 11: How Our Longing Lead Us Home With Tammy Perlmutter
Our guest at The Mudroom today is Tammy Perlmutter, Founder and Curator of this space, and—among so many other things–our resident expert on longing. Tammy’s journey is a mixture of heartbreak and hope—including childhood abuse—so we want to issue a trigger warning here. But, as Tammy expresses here, there is also God’s beautiful redemption arc—and for her, […]
I Wrap Myself
I wrap myself Adding the layer someone else gave to me Tossed it on me to hide; hide what they didn’t like Did I let them pick up my loose limbs and shove me into something new? Something to be worn like it was meant for me Fitting to my body One new layer over […]
December Star
December Star Solstice darkness persists longer than sun’s extended rays, which reach my fingertips eight minutes later than when they first sizzled out of their thermogenic home. Electromagnetic radiation warms cool blue earth, invisibly envelops my skin. In the chill of Cimmerian nights, a tender light pierces the pining, crepuscular hour. […]
When Will Then be Now?
Light in the Darkness Here we are—mid-December: a season of celebration that in at least one uber-educated, moderately liberal, American college town (mine), people seem confused by the juxtaposition of culture and tradition; tradition and church. Mid-December and there is more darkness than light, so we spend more time in fluorescent spaces sprinkled with glittering […]
Looking for the Perfect Fit
No matter what anyone says, no matter what I even believe about myself—Jesus’s furious longing for me will not change. I haven’t quite found it yet—that custom-made place he created for me in the Body of Christ. Maybe you haven’t either. Maybe you still feel like a kid playing dress up or like you’re still trying to squeeze into last winter’s jeans.
Episode 10: When We Listen to Our Longings
Sarah Guerrero’s Journey Through Feasting The religion that I had grown up with was a religion of rules and do’s and don’ts. These are the steps you take to be a good person; this is what you do to show that you love Jesus; this is what you don’t do to show that you don’t […]
“We Are the Waiting”
Editor’s note: “Are We the Waiting” makes for fitting background music for this piece. Click here. I am listening to my new favorite Advent song. From Green Day. How’s that for antithesis? I won’t tell you which album as this teaser is already polarizing. I’ll admit: I’m not cool enough for the punk genre, because […]
The Solitude of Longing
The word long seems to pervade December. A long year is coming to a close. The longest night of the year makes our hearts anxious for the dawn. We celebrate the birth of our long-expected Jesus. We long for the crisp beginning of a new year. When Advent arrives, we long for the second coming […]
The Feast of Friendship
I know it’s coming, but I’m not prepared. Fill in the blank with “it.” It could be dinnertime each day. I’m not prepared to answer the daily question, “What’s for dinner?” “It” could be the next difficult season up ahead, or it could the wildest season of joy. Why do I assume it will […]
Podcast: When Christmas Hurts with Abby Ball
It’s here!!! Our podcast interview with Abby Ball on her new Advent devotional Contemplating Christmas: An Advent Devotional For Finding Hope in the Dark. “Part of my heart for this book is for those people who find Christmas continues to be hard. So you might not be single like I was. For you, it may […]
The Recipe of Me
We are noisy, we cousins gathered around the long wooden table smack in the middle of the restaurant. Melissa leans over our shoulders to place multiple plates of fresh lumpia down in the center. We clamor over each other, elbows flying, to grab the freshly fried spring rolls between our fingers and dip them into […]
Breaking Bread and Belonging
I struggle with feeling accepted when it comes to enjoying time around people. Mainly it is all in my head. I have dealt with mental health struggles since middle school. It caused me to isolate and question whether people approved of me or whether they only tolerated me. Anxiety and depression do that to your […]
Prepare the Table
Preparations and Feast We start early. Dressed in layers that reflect the cool spring morning, and the day of feasting to come. Waiting for the sun to rise. We are a faithful few, gathered and quiet – maybe a little impatient – steam rising from our cups, waiting. As the light blinks above the tree-line, […]
Let’s Not Chase the Spotlight
Stage lights shone on my two friends as they belted out “Making Our Dreams Come True” at our high school pop concert. For weeks they had practiced this arrangement of the theme song from the TV sitcom Laverne and Shirley. The time in rehearsal had certainly paid off. The three of us had done everything […]
Together Around the Table
I held the plastic cup of juice in one hand, a tiny square cracker in the other. In my chair, I tried to focus my thoughts on God and let all else fall away. This symbolic act of taking communion was designed to bring me closer to the Lord. Head bowed, it was just me […]
Why I Quit Church
It’s been two years since I quit the table— and the pew; since I’ve pinched the broken piece of bread between my fingers and dipped it in the crimson cup. The body and blood of Jesus, given for me . . . and promptly declined. At first, it wasn’t on purpose. (There was a global […]