Rest Redefined

Spread across my table and my desktop are remnants of the New Year’s resolutions I don’t actually make: to-do lists, a shiny new calendar; there are weekly menus and shopping lists; my alarms are set and the workout clothes and running shoes are by the door.  Run an errand.  Check a box.  Make a call.  […]

I Wrap Myself 

I wrap myself  Adding the layer someone else gave to me  Tossed it on me to hide; hide what they didn’t like Did I let them pick up my loose limbs and shove me into something new? Something to be worn like it was meant for me  Fitting to my body One new layer over […]

December Star

December Star     Solstice darkness persists longer than sun’s extended rays, which reach my fingertips eight minutes later than when they first sizzled out of their thermogenic home.   Electromagnetic radiation warms cool blue earth, invisibly envelops my skin. In the chill of Cimmerian nights, a tender light pierces the pining, crepuscular hour.   […]

When Will Then be Now?

Light in the Darkness Here we are—mid-December: a season of celebration that in at least one uber-educated, moderately liberal, American college town (mine), people seem confused by the juxtaposition of culture and tradition; tradition and church. Mid-December and there is more darkness than light, so we spend more time in fluorescent spaces sprinkled with glittering […]

Looking for the Perfect Fit

No matter what anyone says, no matter what I even believe about myself—Jesus’s furious longing for me will not change. I haven’t quite found it yet—that custom-made place he created for me in the Body of Christ. Maybe you haven’t either. Maybe you still feel like a kid playing dress up or like you’re still trying to squeeze into last winter’s jeans.

Episode 10: When We Listen to Our Longings

Sarah Guerrero’s Journey Through Feasting The religion that I had grown up with was a religion of rules and do’s and don’ts. These are the steps you take to be a good person; this is what you do to show that you love Jesus; this is what you don’t do to show that you don’t […]

“We Are the Waiting”

Editor’s note: “Are We the Waiting” makes for fitting background music for this piece. Click here. I am listening to my new favorite Advent song. From Green Day. How’s that for antithesis? I won’t tell you which album as this teaser is already polarizing. I’ll admit: I’m not cool enough for the punk genre, because […]

The Solitude of Longing

The word long seems to pervade December. A long year is coming to a close. The longest night of the year makes our hearts anxious for the dawn. We celebrate the birth of our long-expected Jesus. We long for the crisp beginning of a new year. When Advent arrives, we long for the second coming […]

The Feast of Friendship

I know it’s coming, but I’m not prepared. Fill in the blank with “it.” It could be dinnertime each day. I’m not prepared to answer the daily question, “What’s for dinner?”   “It” could be the next difficult season up ahead, or it could the wildest season of joy. Why do I assume it will […]

The Recipe of Me

We are noisy, we cousins gathered around the long wooden table smack in the middle of the restaurant. Melissa leans over our shoulders to place multiple plates of fresh lumpia down in the center. We clamor over each other, elbows flying, to grab the freshly fried spring rolls between our fingers and dip them into […]

Breaking Bread and Belonging

I struggle with feeling accepted when it comes to enjoying time around people. Mainly it is all in my head. I have dealt with mental health struggles since middle school. It caused me to isolate and question whether people approved of me or whether they only tolerated me. Anxiety and depression do that to your […]

Prepare the Table

Preparations and Feast We start early. Dressed in layers that reflect the cool spring morning, and the day of feasting to come. Waiting for the sun to rise. We are a faithful few, gathered and quiet – maybe a little impatient – steam rising from our cups, waiting. As the light blinks above the tree-line, […]

Let’s Not Chase the Spotlight

Stage lights shone on my two friends as they belted out “Making Our Dreams Come True” at our high school pop concert. For weeks they had practiced this arrangement of the theme song from the TV sitcom Laverne and Shirley. The time in rehearsal had certainly paid off. The three of us had done everything […]

Why I Quit Church

It’s been two years since I quit the table— and the pew; since I’ve pinched the broken piece of bread between my fingers and dipped it in the crimson cup. The body and blood of Jesus, given for me . . . and promptly declined. At first, it wasn’t on purpose. (There was a global […]