My heart sank into my stomach as I stared at the familiar face on my computer screen. Her eyebrows lifted, likely wondering if my feed had frozen again. But my internet connection was working fine. I forced myself to take a deep breath as the word my therapist, Callie, had just spoken echoed in the […]
Grief
The Starting Line: The Journey Begins
The South African word ubuntu loosely translates, “I am because we are,” and highlights how our lives are deeply intertwined and impacted by one another. Without ubuntu, individualism, possessiveness, and self-centeredness are the order of the day. We need support from others, especially as we grapple with issues around race, equity, belonging, reconciliation, and revolution. […]
Episode 11: How Our Longing Lead Us Home With Tammy Perlmutter
Our guest at The Mudroom today is Tammy Perlmutter, Founder and Curator of this space, and—among so many other things–our resident expert on longing. Tammy’s journey is a mixture of heartbreak and hope—including childhood abuse—so we want to issue a trigger warning here. But, as Tammy expresses here, there is also God’s beautiful redemption arc—and for her, […]
Podcast: When Christmas Hurts with Abby Ball
It’s here!!! Our podcast interview with Abby Ball on her new Advent devotional Contemplating Christmas: An Advent Devotional For Finding Hope in the Dark. “Part of my heart for this book is for those people who find Christmas continues to be hard. So you might not be single like I was. For you, it may […]
The Recipe of Me
We are noisy, we cousins gathered around the long wooden table smack in the middle of the restaurant. Melissa leans over our shoulders to place multiple plates of fresh lumpia down in the center. We clamor over each other, elbows flying, to grab the freshly fried spring rolls between our fingers and dip them into […]
Prepare the Table
Preparations and Feast We start early. Dressed in layers that reflect the cool spring morning, and the day of feasting to come. Waiting for the sun to rise. We are a faithful few, gathered and quiet – maybe a little impatient – steam rising from our cups, waiting. As the light blinks above the tree-line, […]
Prepare the Table
Preparations and Feast We start early. Dressed in layers that reflect the cool spring morning, and the day of feasting to come. Waiting for the sun to rise. We are a faithful few, gathered and quiet – maybe a little impatient – steam rising from our cups, waiting. As the light blinks above the tree-line, […]
Post-Reflections on the Buffalo, New York Shooting Massacre
Discerning the Content of my Heart As a little girl, the Walnut Park Fred Meyer’s felt more like church or a mini family reunion rather than a grocery store. Centered at the heart of our small Black community—laughter, joy and service stocked shelves and overstuffed aisles. I witnessed the practice of unconditional love and collective […]
To Grieve and Grow
“I’m gonna need you to sing a little louder,” Paul said with a flirtatious grin. “Or I’ll have to move you closer so I can hear you.” He grabbed the sides of my chair and gently pulled me forward until my body filled the space between his long, bony legs. He softly picked the tune […]
#Wait(ing) in Expectation-Broken I Came to the Cross
“I accept that for now, my life is to be lived in the crucible, a hard but beautiful place where He leads me away from the world in order to draw me near to Him.”
The Space Between Darkness and Dawn
The space in between darkness and dawn….. the space where the morning star hovers and the sun’s rays have not yet touched the sky where the wash of a rising canopy warms the earth this space is where God restores our stories. Yes, there was pain in the darkness in places concealed: the […]
Lead Me by the Right Road
The package of letters is staring me down. I finally took them out of their hiding place from my dining table chair. I couldn’t look at them the first couple of days, couldn’t acknowledge their existence. Tonight, I moved them into sight. I eye them warily while playing solitaire and listening to the second book […]
Space for Transformation
The world is such an odd place these days. But as I write, I realize I have always thought it to be. However there was rhythm and routine to my days. A certain flow and consistency to my life. Just a few short years ago, there was measure of assurance or at least perceived assurance. […]
Sacred Thresholds
Liminal space, where the kingdom of God somehow reaches us, calls out and touches us where we are. These thin places of sacred longing and knowing happen often in prayer, but we may also simply stumble upon them. This needn’t be on a windswept beach in the grey light of nearly dawn, they can hit […]
The Forsaken Remains
Heartbeats are hard to hold in the palm of my hand when they are new and slippery and never stay in one place. But here they are, just out of their plastic wrap, not a fingerprint mark on their surface, brought to life by the warmth of blood beneath my skin. Such innocence. Such amazement. […]
At the Table: A Place of Stability in a Multicultural Family
Stability. How do you create stability in a changing world? One way is to hold on to tradition and customs. Customs carry the thread of story into the next generation. Food carries story. Not only through its flavors, but with stories that are passed on along with it at the table. There are dishes prepared […]