You consume me,
so go ahead and ruin me.
Remove me from
old, decrepit ways of thinking that block Your Name
from gaining, training, staining, changing, rearranging
my systems of thought that You bought,
brought up with You when You got up
from that escapable, not stayable, Angel-traceable
room of gloom known as the tomb
where your rags laying next to mine,
filthy and consumed,
full of loss, shame, hurt pain,
rejection, bitterness, failure, misconception,
the woulda’s, coulda’s, and shoulda’s
and if I only
and man I wish I didn’t
BUT NO MORE is that my language since I accepted what your love did
as it understood me,
didn’t judge me,
sat with me,
listened to me,
nodded at my story
when I couldn’t see, feel, or hear
because so many of my experiences were consumed with fears.
So you just listened quietly,
and then took my hand and held it tightly,
starred me in the face until I was bright with delight
and convinced of Your story for me,
convinced that you really did die because You love me
because you already envisioned us as partners
before the fruit picnic in the garden divorced us,
so Your fiery love love came to restore us because You don’t lose,
and You weren’t giving up.
Your last name is Champion, Restoration, Redemption,
the put all things back together again
so my last name changed too
especially since I put on you.
And now when people see me,
they really see glimpses of the Kingdom
since that’s where I came from
and the Holy Spirit helps me remember it
so I can resemble it
especially since life tries to mimic it
all too often seducing me with temporary affections
and stimulating suggestions
offering false expectations
and then I have a hard time discerning true from false
a gain from a loss,
so I need you,
this very second of my waking day.
I need You
and into AND through the duration of the night
and onto the longevity of my life.
I NEED YOU!
You offer me a hope I have never seen before,
a victory I didn’t think I had,
a joy out of the blue,
a peace that is too real to be fake.
I not only need You,
I want You.
You have something I want.
You have something I need –
stability, temperance, self-control,
patience and hope,
and a real desire to be honest and gentle
and that’s what I need right now.
I need that right now for the rest of my life.
You being You makes me need You.