You Being You Makes Me Need You

You consume me, 

so go ahead and ruin me. 

Remove me from 

old, decrepit ways of thinking that block Your Name

from gaining, training, staining, changing, rearranging

my systems of thought that You bought,

brought up with You when You got up

from that escapable, not stayable, Angel-traceable

room of gloom known as the tomb

where your rags laying next to mine,

filthy and consumed,

full of loss, shame, hurt pain,

rejection, bitterness, failure, misconception,

the woulda’s, coulda’s, and shoulda’s

and if I only

and man I wish I didn’t

BUT NO MORE is that my language since I accepted what your love did 

as it understood me,

didn’t judge me, 

sat with me, 

listened to me,

nodded at my story

when I couldn’t see, feel, or hear

because so many of my experiences were consumed with fears.

 

So you just listened quietly,

and then took my hand and held it tightly,

starred me in the face until I was bright with delight

and convinced of Your story for me,

convinced that you really did die because You love me

because you already envisioned us as partners

before the fruit picnic in the garden divorced us,

so Your fiery love love came to restore us because You don’t lose,

and You weren’t giving up.

 

Your last name is Champion, Restoration, Redemption,

the put all things back together again

so my last name changed too

especially since I put on you.

 

And now when people see me,

they really see glimpses of the Kingdom

since that’s where I came from

and the Holy Spirit helps me remember it

so I can resemble it

especially since life tries to mimic it

all too often seducing me with temporary affections

and stimulating suggestions

offering false expectations

and then I have a hard time discerning true from false

a gain from a loss, 

so I need you, 

this moment, 

this very second of my waking day. 

 

I need You

and into AND through the duration of the night

and onto the longevity of my life. 

 

I NEED YOU!

 

You offer me a hope I have never seen before, 

a victory I didn’t think I had, 

a joy out of the blue, 

a peace that is too real to be fake. 

 

I not only need You, 

I want You. 

You have something I want. 

You have something I need –

stability, temperance, self-control, 

patience and hope, 

and a real desire to be honest and gentle

and that’s what I need right now. 

I need that right now for the rest of my life. 

You being You makes me need You.

Anita Scott
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