Why Sex is Worth the Work

In the course of my twenty-five year marriage, we’ve made good sex a priority. That doesn’t mean it’s been effortless. Anything in marriage that’s good takes effort and intentionality. In all regards, we’re still a work in progress. We had more than a few vulnerable conversations about our hopes for the marriage bed before saying […]

They Lied To Me About Pre-Marital Sex

“You feel used, don’t you?” “I do, Mic.” Tears filled her eyes. “Sometimes he can only come by for a few hours, but we always end up in bed. I even fell asleep one time and woke to find him gone. I felt like an old coat.” “Do you even enjoy it, D.J.?” “The sex? […]

When You Don’t Want to Tell

When I fail, there is a 100 percent chance I do not want to tell my husband. I want to hide. Like Eve, I scramble for leaves to cover myself. By “fail” I don’t mean I cheat on him—well, not directly anyway. It’s more in the Matthew 5:28 way where Jesus says, “anyone who even […]

My Single Life or Why I Love Women’s Day

A hairstylist I used to frequent once referred to Mother’s Day as “Complicated Day.” She did not have a particularly good relationship with her very controlling mother. “Complicated Day” really resonated with me, but I would go one step further: I hate Mother’s Day. My mother died of cancer when I was a teenager. Every […]

A Letter From Your Wife, A Survivor

Dear Husband, I need you to know, my heart breaks for you, it breaks for us. I wish I could have been perfect for you. I wish that these hurts, these scars would have healed better. Because I know you have never hurt me like those in my past have. I know you are not […]

Dear Portia: I Had Sex…and then We Broke Up. Now What?

Dear Portia, I grew up in the heart of evangelical purity culture. When I was 13, my parents took me out to dinner and gave me a promise ring. Throughout high school and college, I heard boys would ask me to compromise my sexual standards. I was ready to tell them no, but no one ever […]

Same-Sex Attraction and Me

I used to lie in bed at night and pray to not wake up. I wanted to be gone, I wanted it to be gone. I struggled, prayed and did the right things. I still do the right things and put in the work, but I am still, for as long as I can remember, […]