Disappointment: A Holy Invitation

Months before my husband and I went away for our tenth anniversary, I began to fantasize about the celebratory getaway. We would eat dinners by candlelight, give each other extravagant presents, walk along the beach reminiscing about our wonderfulness, and of course, make love each night. As Christopher has learned, I’m fluent in all five […]

The Hard Fought Battle for Contentment

He stared at my back in the queen size bed we share. The inches between us loomed like a brick wall lined with barbed wire. I sobbed. He sighed. He must have felt as helpless as I did. I suffered under a border blockade which prohibited the entry of petrol, propane, and essential goods in […]

Love Is a Battlefield

This morning I sat down with my coffee and some old photos with no other intention than to reminisce. Today marks 14 years of marriage for my husband and I, and to celebrate, I decided to take a little trip down memory lane. Because if there’s one game in life I enjoy more than “Name […]

Your Marriage Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s

I think my picture of what marriage would look like was some combination of my parents’ marriage and every 1990’s rom-com I’d ever seen. We’d have clear his-and-hers roles based on how my parents did everything, because hey, it’s still working for them, and we’d cuddle every night and fall asleep with our arms and […]

The Truth of Loneliness

I remember a show where a magician betrays his sacred order, and with a heavy shadow disguising his face, spills the secrets of his magic. The secrets of marriage are far more closely guarded. You won’t catch many people admitting to how much sex they have or don’t have. Most wives wisely caption their social […]

Finding Love in the Present Tense

  On the cusp of womanhood, we dreamt of boys who would sweep us off our feet, play the guitar, and in the sun-drenched summer days of southern California, carry a surfboard under muscular tanned arms. We wrote bad poetry and were waterlogged from long days at the pool. We ate cookies, drank Coke, and […]

Old Love

A few weeks ago my husband and I attended the wedding of our church’s new worship leader. We sat outside in stark white folding chairs. The backdrop- a gorgeous old red brick building with looming arches and history seeping out of every nook and corner. The sun lightly grazed our cheeks as the breeze stirred up […]

I Failed to Become the Perfect Spouse

  The last night of my honeymoon, almost fifteen years ago, I set an alarm to wake us up for our first day back at work—and started to cry. “Our honeymoon is over,” I wailed. “Things have been so great so far, but this has been the easy part. What will happen when things get […]

Celebrities, Marriages, and Hope

I saw a headline this week while I was standing in line at the bookstore and my heart froze. “Jen & Ben. Together in Paris: He Wants Her Back”. Was this true? It was on the cover of People, the most reputable celebrity magazine, so it has to be true, right? I came home and […]