5 Dos and Don’ts of Foster Parenting

This is not a heady article written by people with thirty years’ foster parenting experience. It’s a piece written by a former foster child with 14 years’ experience, from 4 years old to 18. It’s directed more at foster parents of preschoolers and older. I’m writing out of my own journey through broken family, trauma, […]

Learning To Love

I wasn’t sure I should write this or even if I could write it. There are others more equipped with deep wisdom and understanding. And after all, any time the hearts and souls of vulnerable individuals are at stake, taking a humble, learning stance is always preferable. I am still in the midst of growing […]

I am the Proud Mother of 49

Each morning I was greeted with lots of hugs. Little arms wrapped themselves around my waist and squeezed tight. Swarms of them came at once, their sweet voices proclaiming, “Good morning, Auntie!” One morning, as Mwikali moved in for her embrace, she peered up at me from under the folds of my t-shirt. Her big […]

The Intertwined Kingdoms of Heaven and Hell

Yesterday, my foster daughter pointed at a woman in a magazine and said, “Is this you?” Earlier that day she approvingly told me I was skinny. She didn’t know I had been dieting. My heart melted. But her warmth turned real cold, real quick. “Why are you touching me?” she asked as I tried rubbing […]

If not me, then who?

I cradle her on my chest, her little hand resting on my neck. She’s so little for her age but she fits perfectly against me. I know my days with her are numbered as we have been told she will be going to live with her father— father she has never known and who has […]

The Problem With Abortion

If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there is hope. ~Mr. Rogers Last year I came across a video gone viral that do what viruses are created to do and made me sick. The images on my screen showed a human person on the pavement, moving slow as death, if at all. They […]

Coming To Terms With a Stereotypical Family

When I was Planning Out My Life in my twenties, I assumed I would: Get married Adopt a puppy Have 2 biological kids Foster and/or adopt another kid or two Live Happily Ever After   I got married and we soon adopted a puppy. Three years later, we gave birth to our first daughter and […]

An Open Adoption: Becoming a Hardacker

“All my problems started the day I became a Hardacker,” our daughter told our counselor. We laughed when we heard the comment. Our daughter is adopted and we have an open adoption with her birth-parents. We met them prior to her birth through an adoption agency and hit it off right away. They said we […]

Abortion: Unwanted Reality

I had two abortions. They weren’t “crisis pregnancies.” They weren’t “unplanned pregnancies.” They were simply unwanted. I was a teenaged girl living with her boyfriend, playing house. Our “unplanned pregnancies” were nothing more than “not planning ahead and being responsible pregnancies.” I didn’t use birth control. So abortion became my birth control. 1987 was the […]