The Sexually Pregnant Mind

I see the curves of my breast and they please.
I see the round of my rump and it entices.
I see the button of my belly
& giggle at its cuteness.
 
I rub the bulging bump that
sustains my daughter
it is tight
but lovely.
 
My legs are thick pillars
supporting the whole of us,
two beating hearts.
 
My areolas expand into flying saucers
while my nipples take on an unyielding demeanor
pushing past 3 sturdy layers
to embarrass me fully.
My breasts have plumped to the next cup
overflowing with milk & honey.
 
My face has smoothed itself
into a summery glow
while my feet have spread
into an ogre-like aura.
 
My hair curls tighter
while my sense of smell betrays.
 
I lose a few meals now and then
but this does not betray my overall impression
 
I am a voluptuous, baby-making goddess.
 
My mind is on sex
to desire
and be desired.
 
I catch my naked frame in the mirror 
it screams back to me
damn girl, you sexy.
 
I glow.
I slay.
We grow.
We sway.
 
The whole of me is
full, filled, fantastic.
I’m a fanatical fan.
 
If I weren’t me,
I’d want to touch me.
I’d want to caress me.
I’d want to take me in.
I’d explore every part
of this shapely missive.
 
But he doesn’t.
He won’t touch.
He won’t caress.
He won’t take me in.
Said my pregnant body ain’t attractive.
Said I shouldn’t expect it to be…to him.
 
At first, 
I weep.
And weep.
And weep.
And weep.
 
Immediately,
I feel something is wrong
with me.
 
Ain’t I nurturing a child, not a warped perspective?
 
I weep more.
I worry I’ve not taken
good enough care.
I wonder
 
will he find me attractive again?
will he ever see me ?
will he see what lies beneath
the layers of his child
growing in my womb? 
 
Is my bulging body too offensive
to have and to hold?
 
I don’t understand.
How can this be
when this masterpiece
is what we both see?
 
Time.
 
No matter to me.
I won’t allow the words
to burrow into my psyche
any more than the damage done.
 
I own this gift
whether it pleases him
is no longer of my concern
because it pleases me.
 
I am a LIFE-maker.
I am beautiful.
My body is a holy,
sexual temple.
 
Enter in or do not,
but leave me to love me.
I will love me
for the both of us.
Grace Sandra

Grace Sandra

Writer at Grace Sandra
Grace Sandra is a Jesus follower, a social & racial Justice advocate, and a wife & Mama who writes blogs & books.
Grace Sandra

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  • Gorgeous.

  • Sharon O

    I truly hope the man mentioned did not say those things to you. An expectant mother is the one beautiful part of God’s Psalm 139 …beauty and life giving. Enjoy the gift and hope to see pictures of your little bundle of sweetness.

    • He did. But there has since been reconciliation of all things.

  • This is incredibly beautiful.

  • Wow, Grace.

  • Joanne Peterson

    Lovely

  • Suzanne Terry

    This is amazing and gorgeous.

  • Love. these. words.

  • Austin

    These are the loveliest words I have ever read about the true beauty of pregnancy. The idea of our mingled DNA creating life in my wife was one of the greatest aphrodisiacs I have ever know! I have never understood the opposite view, and it saddens me to know how many pregnant women experience that pain. I am glad to hear there has been reconciliation.