Belief

The many tunnels honeycomb me in one by one, I become frozen in deep blue. I become noisy as a bee cloud. I become holy like a rooted tree.   The many tunnels open me into their skin,   to see the golden lamp, a golden calf reborn. To believe in the candle who outweighs, […]

Our Collective Sigh of Longing

They say it is winter now but this doesn’t feel like anything I’ve ever known of winter. While others tug their scarves tightly around them the sweat still pools where my purse hits my shoulder. Maybe I’ll get accustomed to the tropical air before the real heat comes early next year. Getting used to the […]

Bringing Down the Wonder

I’m not known for my patience, and sadly it seems this trait has been passed on to my daughter. But we wait differently. I wait for good things to happen, but don’t expect much. Phoenix waits for good things to happen with unfiltered excitement, joy, and expectation. She literally jumps up and down ecstatically. She […]

Advent Waiting

Waiting is difficult. My six-year-old daughter could tell you exactly how difficult it is to wait, if you asked her. Multiple times a day, she explodes like a firecracker into whatever I am doing at the moment, demanding my full and immediate attention. Sometimes, I can grant her request. But sometimes, she has to wait. […]

He Speaks His Goodness Over Us

All of my children were born overdue. I don’t know if my womb was especially comfortable, or they just didn’t want to be born, but all four of them didn’t come out for weeks until after their due date. I stopped answering the phone during those times. “Yes, yes, I’m still enormous. Thank you for […]

The Longest Day: Waiting and Longing

It was the longest day of my life. My husband, daughter, unborn granddaughter, and grandson left the safety of Mexico City early in the morning, and I would not be able to communicate with them until they crossed the United States border. It was an international drama. I wasn’t sure how this was occurring in […]

Coffee Cups and Emmanuel

 I knew now… why I could feel homesick at home. — G.K. Chesterton   O Come O Come Emmanuel And ransom captive Israel That mourns in lonely exile here Until the Son of God appear   Coffee cups I don’t remember much of the particulars of that conversation. I remember fumbling around for words as my […]

How Long, Oh Lord?

A light snow falls outside my living room window. This light snow is a simple reminder to slow down especially in the midst of a long North Dakota winter. The truth is that we are not good at waiting in this busy hectic world. In fact, we rush from here to there hoping for the […]

Dear Portia: How Do I Stop Desiring Bad Stuff?

Dear Portia, How do you stop wanting what you REALLY want, when what you want isn’t good for you? How do you create desire for something you should want, when really you are craving the opposite thing? Craving Dear Craving, When I was in my teens and twenties, I drank at least a can of […]