In the movie fantasy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Benjamin experiences the unusual life of someone who is born old and then as time passes, becomes young, in a sort of reverse aging. He starts off life as a baby, but as an old baby, with wrinkles and the joints and body of an […]
Suffering
Slow Healing
My drive home from church on a sunny Mother’s Day afternoon changed my life forever. Almost two years have passed since the collision with a high-speed driver caused severe, potentially life- threatening injuries. After three weeks in the hospital I was released—just a day before my son’s high school graduation. While I was thrilled to […]
Do You Want to Get Well?
Regardless of our personalities, faith, politics, demographics, race, or social standing, one thing we do have in common is that we all need healing. Over the course of our lives, every one of us will need physical or psychological healing at some point. Healing has been a constant theme in my own life beginning in […]
For the Heavy Lifters
Dear You, Crouched in that corner of the closet you’ve made your own, so you can steal one more moment before you have to hold up half of the sky again . . . Before you flip the nebulizer’s switch and pray your lungs cooperate this time—so you can tuck your boys in tonight. Before […]
Episode 11: How Our Longing Lead Us Home With Tammy Perlmutter
Our guest at The Mudroom today is Tammy Perlmutter, Founder and Curator of this space, and—among so many other things–our resident expert on longing. Tammy’s journey is a mixture of heartbreak and hope—including childhood abuse—so we want to issue a trigger warning here. But, as Tammy expresses here, there is also God’s beautiful redemption arc—and for her, […]
“We Are the Waiting”
Editor’s note: “Are We the Waiting” makes for fitting background music for this piece. Click here. I am listening to my new favorite Advent song. From Green Day. How’s that for antithesis? I won’t tell you which album as this teaser is already polarizing. I’ll admit: I’m not cool enough for the punk genre, because […]
Osso Buco
I woke up from surgery, my throat sore from the ventilator, and I immediately reached to touch my face. I smiled. I gritted my teeth. I rubbed my nose. Gloriously I felt nothing. Not the familiar electric shocks or burning sensations that ultimately led me to let someone cut a hole in my head and […]
To Grieve and Grow
“I’m gonna need you to sing a little louder,” Paul said with a flirtatious grin. “Or I’ll have to move you closer so I can hear you.” He grabbed the sides of my chair and gently pulled me forward until my body filled the space between his long, bony legs. He softly picked the tune […]
Opening to a New Way to Bloom
Early in the healing process of a severe manic episode related to my bipolar disorder, I felt the nudge and a voice I believed to be God’s. I heard, “I want you to share your story. This story you are living now.” The only emotion I felt was terror. I quaked in my sneakers as […]
The Unlived Life
You go there. I do too, sometimes. Here’s mine: I’m in a packed-out bar sitting at a table, elbow-to-elbow, with my closest friends. The burly man on stage does tap-“check-check” as he tiptoes around some electric guitars, an upright piano, maybe even a few drums, and then slips into the spotlight. “C’mon down!” he proclaims […]
#Wait(ing) in Expectation-Broken I Came to the Cross
“I accept that for now, my life is to be lived in the crucible, a hard but beautiful place where He leads me away from the world in order to draw me near to Him.”
Grace in the Middle
Editor’s Note: Don’t miss the audio addition of Nicole’s piece below – where she narrates her journey into liminal spaces and delves deeper into finding grace there . . . in the middle. (The Mudroom Podcast, Episode 5) I was falling behind, dragging them down. I glimpsed it on their little faces—the fear gathering in […]
Space for Transformation
The world is such an odd place these days. But as I write, I realize I have always thought it to be. However there was rhythm and routine to my days. A certain flow and consistency to my life. Just a few short years ago, there was measure of assurance or at least perceived assurance. […]
Sacred Thresholds
Liminal space, where the kingdom of God somehow reaches us, calls out and touches us where we are. These thin places of sacred longing and knowing happen often in prayer, but we may also simply stumble upon them. This needn’t be on a windswept beach in the grey light of nearly dawn, they can hit […]
Leaf Maker
Leaf Abscission (noun)* the act of cutting off; sudden termination. Botany. the normal separation of flowers, fruit, and leaves from plants. Leaves change color in a glorious display for only a short time, only to fall to the ground, dead. Trees lose their magnificent crown, drop their jewels, shed their shimmering coats, just before the onslaught […]
Sleepless in Spring
I took a walk today and I looked up at the bright blue spring sky popping against bright green leaves on old oak trees and I cried because today my fourth child is eighteen months old, and WE ARE STILL HERE. Pandemic, homeschooling, batshit crazy world but here we are. Almost two and a half […]