Suffering

Companions in the Darkness

Editor’s Note: Holding a conversation with Diana Gruver is like sitting in the sun: She radiates kindness and compassion in a way that makes you want to lean in and steal as many moments in her presence as possible. It may seem surprising, then, to hear her story—of how she, herself, “clawed toward the light” […]

Whispers from the Side Door

Listen to Nichole Woo read this anonymous piece by clicking below.   She scuffs over sidewalks toward heavy high school doors, (always locked) with dauntless steps that prick my heart. One thing I know: Her feet will forever fall on roads in want of wear.1 Frost – he got to choose. But not my girl. […]

Announcing our Fall Themes!!

We need your voices! This September, The Mudroom is launching a four-month series titled “Lost & Found: Stories of Belonging in a Bruised and Broken Body.” We desire to amplify the stories of those who’ve ever felt unseen, untethered, or set adrift from the Church—and those who have found or are finding, their way back. […]

Grief – Inseparable

She knocks on the front door, but she really didn’t have to. I saw her crouching there a few days ago. I can feel her presence before she announces herself. I didn’t invite her; she simply comes. She isn’t a respecter of persons; she visits you, too. She visits us all.   Sometimes, I feel […]

The Good Catastrophe

  And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock; and he rolled a large stone against the entrance of the tomb and went away. And Mary Magdalene was there, and the other Mary, sitting […]

For the Heavy Lifters

Dear You, Crouched in that corner of the closet you’ve made your own, so you can steal one more moment before you have to hold up half of the sky again . . . Before you flip the nebulizer’s switch and pray your lungs cooperate this time—so you can tuck your boys in tonight. Before […]

“We Are the Waiting”

Editor’s note: “Are We the Waiting” makes for fitting background music for this piece. Click here. I am listening to my new favorite Advent song. From Green Day. How’s that for antithesis? I won’t tell you which album as this teaser is already polarizing. I’ll admit: I’m not cool enough for the punk genre, because […]

Osso Buco

I woke up from surgery, my throat sore from the ventilator, and I immediately reached to touch my face. I smiled. I gritted my teeth. I rubbed my nose. Gloriously I felt nothing. Not the familiar electric shocks or burning sensations that ultimately led me to let someone cut a hole in my head and […]

To Grieve and Grow

“I’m gonna need you to sing a little louder,” Paul said with a flirtatious grin. “Or I’ll have to move you closer so I can hear you.” He grabbed the sides of my chair and gently pulled me forward until my body filled the space between his long, bony legs. He softly picked the tune […]

Opening to a New Way to Bloom

Early in the healing process of a severe manic episode related to my bipolar disorder, I felt the nudge and a voice I believed to be God’s. I heard, “I want you to share your story. This story you are living now.” The only emotion I felt was terror. I quaked in my sneakers as […]

The Unlived Life

You go there. I do too, sometimes. Here’s mine: I’m in a packed-out bar sitting at a table, elbow-to-elbow, with my closest friends. The burly man on stage does tap-“check-check” as he tiptoes around some electric guitars, an upright piano, maybe even a few drums, and then slips into the spotlight. “C’mon down!” he proclaims […]

Grace in the Middle

Editor’s Note: Don’t miss the audio addition of Nicole’s piece below – where she narrates her  journey into liminal spaces and delves deeper into finding grace there . . . in the middle. (The Mudroom Podcast, Episode 5) I was falling behind, dragging them down. I glimpsed it on their little faces—the fear gathering in […]

Space for Transformation

The world is such an odd place these days. But as I write, I realize I have always thought it to be. However there was rhythm and routine to my days. A certain flow and consistency to my life. Just a few short years ago, there was measure of assurance or at least perceived assurance. […]

Sacred Thresholds

Liminal space, where the kingdom of God somehow reaches us, calls out and touches us where we are. These thin places of sacred longing and knowing happen often in prayer, but we may also simply stumble upon them. This needn’t be on a windswept beach in the grey light of nearly dawn, they can hit […]

Leaf Maker

Leaf  Abscission (noun)* the act of cutting off; sudden termination. Botany. the normal separation of flowers, fruit, and leaves from plants. Leaves change color in a glorious display for only a short time, only to fall to the ground, dead. Trees lose their magnificent crown, drop their jewels, shed their shimmering coats, just before the onslaught […]

Sleepless in Spring

I took a walk today and I looked up at the bright blue spring sky popping against bright green leaves on old oak trees and I cried because today my fourth child is eighteen months old, and WE ARE STILL HERE. Pandemic, homeschooling, batshit crazy world but here we are.  Almost two and a half […]