Relationships

The Growing Uncomfortable Edge

I am untethered, unmoored, unrecognizable to myself. My husband passed away in a hiking accident, and life is altered on every level.  I feel disoriented, trying to make sense of my disassembled life—like lying on the couch and watching TV sideways.  Everything has changed, and my brain has yet to catch up to it all. […]

Wrestling with God

You’re limping, people say as I approach with my irregular gait.  Oh yes, I answer. I have been wrestling with God.   Wrestling with lost relationships. Wrestling with grief that keeps arising. Wrestling with change in my dwelling places. Wrestling with shifting family dynamics. Wrestling with changes in my body as I age. Wrestling with […]

Lost Girl

I can’t smell it, as a pack of coyotes do when they corner trembling prey. But I can always see fear. It swept across her face like a time-lapsed eclipse: First, panic in those tiny, azure eyes. Then the floodgates burst forth. Tears barreled down her cheekbones and mingled with stray, blond hairs that matted […]

Let’s make family genius

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the word “genius.” I’ve always thought a genius was a person who’s both extremely smart and spectacularly innovative. Pablo Picasso. Roman Polanski. Erwin Schrödinger. A genius is a person who single-handedly transforms our ideas of art, story, or science. And then I started researching creativity and that inspiring image got […]

I’m Sad I Can’t Watch TV

Here are my TV and movie rules, as I understand them: No lying, at least not sustained lying. It’s okay to fib occasionally, but if someone is “going undercover” or “pretending to be someone they’re not,” I’m done. No fantasy. No sci-fi. Let’s have the universe operate under the known rules, which are already unpredictable, […]

The Starting Line: The Journey Begins

The South African word ubuntu loosely translates, “I am because we are,” and highlights how our lives are deeply intertwined and impacted by one another. Without ubuntu, individualism, possessiveness, and self-centeredness are the order of the day. We need support from others, especially as we grapple with issues around race, equity, belonging, reconciliation, and revolution. […]

The Feast of Friendship

I know it’s coming, but I’m not prepared. Fill in the blank with “it.” It could be dinnertime each day. I’m not prepared to answer the daily question, “What’s for dinner?”   “It” could be the next difficult season up ahead, or it could the wildest season of joy. Why do I assume it will […]

The Gentleness of Dusk and Dawn

The Longing Arms   Emptiness filled now and spilling when arms hold and hush the long anticipated one- sweet love requited.   Did I know how empty they were- my arms, heart- before you? You laughed at the emptiness and swallowed it whole.   …of the wind she is, a soft kiss mystery come alive […]

Podcast: What Are You Afraid Of?

Season 1, Episode 4 Catherine McNiel is asking this question of herself and others: “What are you afraid of?” Why, she asks, are we, as Christ-followers, often taught to fear our neighbors, withhold hospitality from strangers, and vilify the “others”–those whose beliefs, appearances, and lives look different than our own and perceive them as a […]

Podcast: Soul Care and Transformative Power

We interviewed Suzanne about her new book, The Journey Toward Wholeness: Enneagram Wisdom for Stress, Balance, and Transformation, published by InterVarsity Press. It was such a beautiful time with her and we know you all will love it!!  Suzanne Stabile is a highly sought-after speaker, teacher, and internationally recognized Enneagram master teacher who has taught thousands of […]

Podcast: The Gifts of Liminal Space

We interviewed Suzanne about her new book, The Journey Toward Wholeness: Enneagram Wisdom for Stress, Balance, and Transformation, published by InterVarsity Press. It was such a beautiful time with her and we know you all will love it!! Suzanne Stabile is a highly sought-after speaker, teacher, and internationally recognized Enneagram master teacher who has taught thousands of […]

Obey: a Four-Letter-Word

OBEY. It’s a four-letter word—at least, that’s how I think of it. I associate this word with punishment, negative emotions, consequences, rigidity, and legalism. The word itself makes me cringe at times.  It feels autocratic and one-sided, as in a command that also means, “Do what I say.” The word itself feels cold and authoritative. […]

The Lens of Wisdom

I found out I was pregnant on a scorching July morning, one month before my senior year of high school. Swim team would begin practicing soon. I had a college tour scheduled later that week, senior pictures the following week, and I’d already chosen the ten classics required for my honors English class. Pregnancy was […]