My first time in any serious therapy, my counselor told me I was depressed. I laughed. It was kind of high-pitched, as if someone had twisted a treble knob too tight. “I’m not depressed,” I tittered. “I’m the happiest person I know! I’m happy all the time!” Thinking back to my cockeyed optimism, I wince, […]
Hope
Potholes, Speedbumps, and Messy Grace
There is a new hum in my van you can hear when I accelerate. I’m not a mechanic by any means, but from what I can tell, something got a little loose near the muffler and so now there is a vibration that rumbles through the car, reminding me I have yet another stack of […]
All Season Breeze: A Creation Poem
Who knew that You were the breeze hiding behind the trees playing hide n’ seek only to capture me? Who knew that You taught the eagle how to fly so I could learn how to soar? And who knew that You gave the sparrow its song so I could listen for dialogue between Heaven and […]
Writing for Ducks
Today, we watched Frozen twice. Once because they were tired and once because I was tired. Usually we do puzzles and read and bake and play in the little pink kitchen that’s always askew in the corner. But today we snuggled, we danced, we sang. We also ate Kit-Kats and had chocolate smeared on our […]
Where I Am Today
I can feel the tears And this time I’m trying really hard to stay near You But I can feel the water behind my eyes Sometimes making it hard for me to see You. I can feel the waves of doubt Hitting me like bullets in a windstorm And I’m squinting my eyes Trying […]
The Call to Let Go
Focused. I was moving up and down the aisles of Home Depot as quickly as I could. It was almost 1pm and the girls were hungry. My husband had my 2 year old, blonde curls surrounding her rounded face, and I had the squishy infant, nestled in the Ergo, head resting on my chest, waiting […]
The Morning After
Today’s Free Write Friday is a simple reflection from some of our readers on Super Tuesday results. As I collected these, I was encouraged as I witnessed discourse – not fighting, but actual discourse – as they wrestled with results and candidates and beliefs, everyone holding onto hope. I. “Bite your lip and turn on […]
Hope Trumps Death
I held her hand in mine as we walked down the snowy sidewalk. On Sunday we were raking and putting out a spring wreath on the front door, the one with the pastel eggs and moss covered rabbit, but just a few days later the streets were ice and snow as a cold wind blows […]
The Second Journey: A Call at Midlife
“I have been seized by the power of a great affection.” ~Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-up, and Burnt Out Midlife crisis. It’s like a version of adolescence, only older. As my 50th birthday quickly approaches, I can attest to the unpredictable hormone changes, body shifts and mooood […]
When I was Twelve I Heard the Voice of God
When I was twelve I heard the voice of God. Like, literally. I know. I think it is totally weird too. I was the most awkward almost thirteen year old you could possibly imagine, and I heard the voice of God, behind me and to the left. I was at church camp. God told me […]
Listen to the Prophets
Monday came faster than it should have. Bleary eyed I stumbled out of the bed covered by a bright yellow and pink comforter and more dolls than I could count. All signs pointed to yet another ear infection so I found myself at 2 a.m. holding her in her bed, propping her head upright with […]
Carving Words Into Bones
I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about mortality—specifically, my own. Perhaps it’s because my husband is in his mid-forties now and his mind is grappling with aging and ageism in his career field. Maybe it’s his sudden concern for our future, for what legacy he’s leaving behind for our sons. Perhaps it’s because I […]
If Only
The Mudroom is a place for the stories emerging in the midst of the mess. Our vision is simple: make room for people. If only I knew then what I know now . . . maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as much. If only I knew then what I know now . . . maybe […]
Holding on to the Baton of a King
Today many of us will choose to honor the dream and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, while others wait in disgust for America to make due on its overdrawn check, written in the name of “liberty and justice for all.” What will you decide to do with this day and this dream of […]
Free Write Friday: Finding Jesus
Two election cycles ago, I was a different person. Freshly married with a young baby, I lived in a New England town where almost 100% of my friends were made up with people from church and at least 80% of them looked like me. Houses were situated on .66 acres and life felt idyllic. The […]
Wearing Our Lives Lightly
Growing up in and around New Orleans, I celebrated January 6 as the opening of carnival season, the several weeks of hedonism that lead up to Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, which precedes Ash Wednesday and the long, bleak penances of Lent. We went to church, and we ate a king cake, a ring of sweet […]
Revelation is Not a Guarantee
For a three-month stretch when I was seven or eight, I tried to learn how to pray. When I couldn’t sleep, I’d pull a children’s prayer book down from the shelf and move it to the crack of light that shone in from the hallway. I opened it up to the Lord’s Prayer and read […]
Straining for the Light
For a long time the threat of a new year brought with it an onslaught of more darkness, more enervating melancholy, more long, gray days ahead to suffer through. It was nothing to celebrate. At the end of one of those especially difficult years I met Alece Ronzino online. She too had experienced a year (or more!) like […]