What Does Integrity Look Like? 

What does it look like to walk in integrity as a Caucasian follower of Christ? (I’m focusing on white folks because that’s my heritage and because I believe we need to up our game in the integrity department.) A contemporary definition of integrity reads “to consistently adhere to moral and ethical principles.” To have integrity […]

Getting the Most Out of Regret

My top five regrets: Not dropping everything and going to the west coast when my sister’s husband was going through cancer treatment. Not being emotionally honest with friends for the first half of my life. Not traveling to a close friend’s destination wedding because it felt too expensive. Teasing a middle school classmate. Not getting […]

Finding Freedom from My Fears

I first read about the angel Gabriel’s exhortation to Fear Not! when I was in my early twenties. My initial thought was, Not fearing is an option? I didn’t know I had a choice. As far back as I have memory, I have memory of being afraid.  My fears did not attach to tangible objects […]

Small Acts of Encouragement

If I could choose one word to summarize my emotional state for the past year, it would be discouraged. On any number of metrics, from the environment to immigration to race relations, I see progress not only stalled but going in reverse.  This affects me on multiple levels. Instead of finding comfort in Scripture, I […]

Redefining Healing

God is sometimes perplexing. He encourages us to ask him for what we need and want. But then after we’ve put it out there, He’ll seemingly ignore us, leaving us with unmet needs and doubts about his purported benevolence.  Almost twenty years ago, I began experiencing unrelenting fatigue, muscle soreness, and waning strength. Countless tests […]

Believing

Spring has been slow in coming this year. Winter has lingered far beyond its welcome. There have been days, weeks even, when it seemed that perhaps this year, spring would not return. I’ve resented the freezing temperatures and the need for sweaters, wool socks, gloves, and coats. I’ve been ready to move on for weeks. […]

Can We Disagree Like Christians?

Is it biblical for Christians to agree to disagree? That depends. When writing to the Corinthian Church regarding issues that were divisive, the Apostle Paul discouraged fellow believers from criticizing or condemning each other and instead, encouraged them to “live at peace with everyone, as much as possible” (Rom. 12:18). That sounds an awful lot […]

Learning to Listen

Many years ago in the midst of a particularly heated argument with my husband, I made a tearful plea: When I’m angry, what if rather than getting defensive you just listened to me? An unfamiliar look came over his face and he stood speechless. Clearly, this was a new thought. When he dialed down, he made […]

The Complexity of Desire

Desire is sometimes a complicated thing. Author Jen Pollock Michel writes in Teach Us to Want, “How can we ever decide that our desires are anything other than the sin-sick expression of our inner corruption? Can we trust our desires if we ourselves can be so untrustworthy?” Indeed.  There have been seasons in my life […]

Masturbation: Difficult Conversations that We Need to Have with Our Children

  The first week of seventh grade, our second son came home with a novel written by an unfamiliar author. Ever curious, I sat down to read it after he went to bed. About half way through, the narrator, an adolescent boy, began the chapter with this thought, “If God did not want boys to […]

Do You Really Want to Get Well?

The first time I came across the passage in John 5, I felt slightly irritated. Afterwards Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish religious holidays. Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was Bethesda Pool, with five covered platforms or porches surrounding it. Crowds of sick folks—lame, blind, or with paralyzed limbs—lay on […]

Why Sex is Worth the Work

In the course of my twenty-five year marriage, we’ve made good sex a priority. That doesn’t mean it’s been effortless. Anything in marriage that’s good takes effort and intentionality. In all regards, we’re still a work in progress. We had more than a few vulnerable conversations about our hopes for the marriage bed before saying […]