“The Mudroom is a place for the stories emerging in the midst of the mess.” ~ The Mudroom
Right now I feel like I’m living in a mess. There are so many demands, a lot of which I put on myself, voices in my head telling me what I must do.
Get rid of the clutter. You should be keeping your house cleaner. Why can’t you have regular nutritious meals? You’re too fat. You need to exercise more. Face it, you’ll never lose weight. You said you were going to have regular times of prayer every day, but you aren’t doing it.
You really should try to see your mother more than once a week. She is lonely. Shouldn’t you be there whenever she wants you? You should keep in better touch with all your children and grandchildren. You need to be doing more with your husband.
You should have kept better records in home school so your son could have a better transcript. You’ll never make that deadline. Why do you even try? You aren’t a writer. Others can do it so much better.
And the guilt just continues to build while I listen to those voices.
First I try to make excuses as if I need to justify why I can’t or don’t do those things. I am only one person and I am not superhuman, so how can I possibly do it all? After some time of this back and forth deliberation, I finally see that I am the one putting on the pressure. It’s like I’m dwelling in a guilt-ridden cage of my own making. I feel like I’m constantly falling short and will never find release.
But Jesus tells me a different story.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
I then realize I am tired. My weariness often clouds my mind and magnifies the real and/or perceived problems. I don’t need to make excuses, but instead, run to Jesus who lavishes me with love and offers grace. The good news is that I am accepted because Jesus conquered death by rising from the grave. I cannot add anything in payment and I’m not expected to. I don’t have to keep striving and piling on the guilt. He wants my life, not to beat me into submission but to forgive and to draw me close in a loving embrace. He has extended unbelievable grace to me.
Run to Jesus
When the storms of life
Stir up waves of despair
Threatening to pull you down
Run to the One who loves you
Run to the One who never fails
Run to the One who brings peace
Run to the only One
Who can bring you hope
And lift you up
Run to Jesus
The Righteous One
Our Lord and Savior
His love is incomparable.
When I yield to His calling I am made stronger. His Spirit in me gives new life, and I am free to live in peace with joy rather than worrying if I’ve done enough to please God. His love covers me fully. I am able to see things from a different perspective. The problems and voices in my mind may not go completely away, but they don’t have to rule or define me. I can do things intentionally rather than being pushed along from one to another. Of course it’s a lesson I have not fully learned and it’s easy to fall back into the trap, but God always gives me grace.
Because of the grace I have been shown, I am able to accept my limitations. I can then extend grace to the other people in my life, doing what I can with a spirit of praise to God. There is joy to be found in ordinary, everyday things. My life will be an offering to God as I follow His leading, pursuing the dreams He has given along with caring for those in my charge.
He will take my small offerings and make them worthy. He will do the same for you.